I can’t sleep…

so a perfect time to write about an imperfect month with a positive beginning for the month ahead.

On March 27th I had to have my darling Leonard put to sleep. He was a gorgeous boy who made other dogs who were devoted to their owners look like amateurs. Leonard had problems and it’s only in hindsight that they were in plain sight.

Once he realised we were a pair, at about five weeks old, he’d shove all of the other puppies out of the way when I was visiting the litter – I was his. When he came home I realised that he had far too much energy for a puppy, even a Jack Russell puppy. He slept little, ate a lot and ran around for a couple of hours at a time. He never dropped suddenly and slept like other puppies, I’d have to pick him up and soothe him to sleep.

He rapidly became overprotective and even after castration that was still there and his energy levels didn’t lessen. He began to get aggressive when people came near me and bit a neighbour. I had that talk with the vet but as he was only a year old we both agreed that intensive training was the way. It didn’t work.

He bit two people recently and when one person needs medical attention and the other reports the incident to the police it’s time for that conversation again and this time I knew it wasn’t going to be a happy outcome. The vet had an obligation to put him to sleep. A dog that attacks randomly is dangerous and little or not, dogs can do serious damage.

While he was sedated I played him the song that soothed him off to sleep every night. If it hadn’t already been a favourite then it would be now.

As I enter my 33rd year of sobriety holding on to the truth that alcohol doesn’t relieve feelings and emotions, experiencing those feelings and emotions relieves them, please listen to the wonderful Leonard Cohen for whom my Leonard was named. I give you Lullaby.